Quintessential Chipotle Dry-rubbiness

Last year, my daughter Chelsea and some of her friends started getting together each week at a restaurant chain called Buffalo Wild Wings.  In "hipster" lingo, it is abbreviated to BWW (which is pronounced "bee dubs" by those who also pronounce "vs." as "verse").  She then began trying to convince me that I needed to give the restaurant a try.  I first did the obligatory fatherly posturing and assured her she needn't try to tell me anything about a world in which I had lived for 31 years before she was even born.

Chelsea (the one on the left)

However, like any father of a teen (and especially with her being the baby of the family), I eventually gave in to her pleading.  On my first visit (yes, there were subsequent visits...congratulations on deciphering my ingenius foreshadowing), I chose to just have a hamburger...a hamburger that changed my life!  For this was no ordinary restaurant hamburger fried to a dry and tasteless existence on a stainless steel grill (and I use the term "grill" very loosely).

This hamburger was a juicy and savory delight.  It tasted truly grilled (meaning meat actually barbecued over charcoal made from that bag of overpriced bacon-wrapped-hickory-apple-mesquite wood chips you see at the store).  The black crisscross (Middle English for "Christcross"...the sign/mark of Christ's cross) pattern on both sides of the burger were the genuine result of the meat being seared by the grill rods (not just painted on with black food coloring #4).

You'll just have to imagine this without the cheese...I couldn't find a photo of the real deal

But don't change the channel yet...there is more gospel (Greek for "good news") to come!  I'm usually very conservative on my menu selections.  Once I find something I like, I usually stick with it for fear of trying something different and potentially being disappointed.  I hate the thought of leaving a restaurant having spent my hard-earned (ok, well at least "earned") money on disappointing food.   However, some modicum of menu liberality can still cunningly be achieved.  The secret trick is to dine with friends/family who will let you try some of their order to see if you like it (without you having to incur any risk to your personal restaurant satisfaction).  Just such an exploit led to yet another fortuitous BWW discovery.

The unfortunate "mark" in this con was my new and unsuspecting son-in-law Derrick (one of my two favorite sons-in-law).  My first wife (Renee) and I were having lunch at BWW with Derrick and his bride Haley (who happens to be our daughter as it turns out).  While we were all perusing the menu (or, in my case, faking it), I heard Derrick contemplating trying the newly listed "dry-rub" wings.  I seized on the opportunity and suggested Derrick give them a try (and even tossed in a subliminal mention that the chipotle seasoning sounded like a good choice).  To put my conscience at ease, I at least made it known to him that I would like to sample the wings if he ended up ordering them (so Mom, there is no need to be concerned about my salvation).  To my delight, he bit my diabolical lure hook, line, and sinker.  So I just proceeded to order my usual "cheeseburger without the cheese" (as they don't actually list a "hamburger" on the menu...yet another piece of priceless information as typically supplied by this blog).

The "mark" (or in this situation "the Derrick") 

It turned out that Derrick's wife was my daughter Haley (from my first marriage)!

My first wife (Renee) in her "natürlichen Lebensraum" (German for "natural habitat")

When Derrick's chipotle dry-rub wings arrived, I quickly sealed the deal by asking if I could try one.  It too (like its hamburger forefather) was a delectable treasure, but with an additional quintessential (Latin for "fifth essence"...a medieval term for the substance composing the celestial bodies...basically like saying something is "heavenly")  chipotle dry-rubbiness.

They may not look like much, but these babies pack a punch (just like me)

So, in closing, I urge you all to add a BWW trip to your "KFC bucket list" (see my "Hello World!" post from 7/23/10 if this means nothing to you).  To sweeten the pot, I'll even tell you what to say to your server when ordering.  To ensure your total satisfaction, say "For an appetizer, I'll have 6 (or more) chipotle dry-rub traditional wings and then I'll have the cheeseburger without the cheese".  There is no need to specify "quintessential dry-rubbiness" when ordering as that would be redundant and your server isn't likely to understand the term "quintessential" (unless they happen to be one of the lucky and informed followers of this blog).  Do not (I repeat, DO NOT) get cocky and venture beyond my recommendations.  For example, don't adjust the order to be "boneless" instead of "traditional" (trust me, I got burned bad on that particular one...learn from my mistakes or you will be destined to repeat them).  Once you get a solid BWW foothold, you can try out other things on their menu (using the so-called "Derrick Manuever") and let me know what else I should try there.

Daughter Summer and Son-in-law Grant in a candid shot
(hey, I had shown everybody else in the family!)

Flint

P.S. Tuesdays are "45 cent wing days" at BWW if you are a fiscal dynamo like me (aka: miser, Scrooge, penny pincher, skinflint, tightwad, cheapskate, moneygrubber, pinchfist).  Okay, enough self-admiration already!

P.P.S. There is no shame/sin in opting for a cheeseburger (or for that matter any other burger on their menu).  All the burgers listed on the menu use the same precious burger as the primary building block.  I just happen to like nothing getting in the way of the actual burger taste (plus, I get some sort of weird/silly kick out of ordering a "cheeseburger without the cheese"...most servers immediately balk at the order until it eventually registers).

P.P.P.S. Having now established my pedigree at our local BWW, I'm contemplating testing out the waters beyond the menu on my next visit.  I'm thinking of hazarding a request to have them pre-batter my burger with the chipotle dry-rub elixir before exposing it to the fire.  If I don't end up flying too close to the sun on wings of seasoned ground beef, I'll let you know how it turns out.