Hugh Jass Burgers

Friend Todd (a frequent mention on this blog) informed me of a new burger joint in Lexington, KY called "Hugh Jass Burgers".  Does that describe the burgers, the clientele, or both?  After all, when a clothing store's name includes the words "big" or "tall", it means that they have big/tall clothes for big/tall people.  Having said that, I must admit that I'd still like to give it a try if ever I find myself in Lexington.  No snide comments allowed (especially you, friend Todd)!

According to google, it looks like the name may have originated on the Simpsons.  Bart frequently makes prank calls to Moe's Tavern asking to talk to someone whose name is a double entendre (French for double meaning).  Here are some other examples:

Moe: Moe's Tavern...

Bart: Is Al there?
Moe: Al?
Bart: Yeah, Al. Last name Caholic?
Moe: Hold on, I'll check. Phone call for Al... Al Caholic. Is there an Al Caholic here?

Moe: Moe's Tavern...

Bart: Is Jaques there?

Moe: Who?
Bart: Jaques, last name Strap.
Moe: Uh, hold on. Uh, Jock... Strap... Hey guys I'm looking for a Jock Strap.

Moe: Moe's Tavern...

Bart: Uh, yes, I'm looking for a Mrs. O'Problem? First name, Bea.

Moe: Uh, yeah, just a minute, I'll check. (calls) Uh, Bea O'Problem? Bea O'Problem! Come on guys, do I have a Bea O'Problem here?

Moe: Moe's Tavern...

Bart: Is Amanda there? Last name, Hugginkiss.

Moe: Just a sec; I'll check. (calls) Amanda Hugginkiss? Hey, I'm lookin' fer Amanda Hugginkiss. Why can't I find Amanda Hugginkiss?

Have a good weekend,
Flint

Beak of the Rooster

A cornucopia of photographic olio today:

Roll out the welcome wagon!

Only in America (alas).

Think you know what this is?

Perhaps a different view will help.

Got it yet?

Now, don't you just have to have one of these?

Revenge being served icy cold!

Now THIS would make golfing really fun!

The power of positive thinking.

The Sarcasm family at the movies.

BTW, did you know that the translation of "pico de gallo" is "beak of the rooster"?  Remind me never to order it in a Spanish speaking country!

Flint

What a Crock(er) of Betty!

My wife Renée (French for "born again"...how fitting!) brought home a new kind of dessert from the store the other day: "Betty Crocker's Warm Delights Minis Molten Chocolate Cake".  I'm sure some of you have had the gut-busting pleasure of enjoying one of those similar sounding desserts at a restaurant.  For those of you in the gastrointestinal dark, it basically is a jumbo chocolate cupcake filled with chocolate magma.  They bring it to you straight from the oven (at nuclear reactor temperature) and when you take the first spadeful, the hot, chocolicious lava flows freely out onto the plate.  Then you can dip further spadefuls of cake in the lava until (alas) your plate is clean.  I personally don't care for them at all.


So when I saw what Renée had brought home, I was on pins and needles to try it.  The anticipation of being able to have these at home whenever we wanted was almost overwhelming!  We anxiously unwrapped the contents like it was Christmas morning and then collapsed on the floor in disappointment.  I now know where all of the unused Kenner's Easy Bake Oven cake mixes from the 60's went to.  

You get two teeny-tiny cups each with a packet of cake mix about the size of a tea bag or a Dorito.  Also note, in the enlarged photo below, the mouthwatering description of the package contents (i.e., "CAKE").  I'm sure if you googled the lot number from the package it could be tracked back to a mid 60s shipment made to Kenner.  I don't (nor do I want to) know how much these cost, but I'm sure the money could have been used to feed a third world family for several meals.  What you really end up paying for (since the cakes are basically worthless) is the beautifully and hypnotically decorated cardboard box that cunningly hides the product itself.  This allows the makers to surgically separate you from your money with ease.  BTW, I think the "150 calories per bowl" claim on the box must actually include the bowl in addition to the cake (that is assuming it is fairly high calorie plastic...the bowl, not the cake).

I see that you can still buy the Easy Bake Oven, but it  is now sold by Hasbro.  Check out what I found you can buy on their web site:

Note the maker/producer of the cake mix.  Coincidence?  I think not.  I rest my dessert-deprived case.  C'mon Betty...we expect more from you!


Flint

By the wigglin' millipede

Being new to this whole hipster, blogging scene, I'm not sure that it is "apropos" (French for "appropriate") to accept requests for specific blog posts.  However, I guess I'll just throw caution to the wind and give it a try. The blog police can correct me if it ends up being a "false step" (English for "faux pas").


Shortly after informing my friend Todd F. of my new blog, he asked that I inform the world (which is, in reality, just the three of you that follow this blog) of my inability to discern song lyrics.


Those of you who are old enough to remember the TV sitcom "All in the Family" may recall the show's intro where two of the main characters (Archie and Edith) sat at the piano and sang the show's theme song ("Those Were The Days"). From the time that I started watching the show in the 70's, I could never figure out the words in the first line of the song. My best guess was "By the wigglin' millipede".


It's difficult to imagine/remember life prior to Al Gore inventing the internet, but back then, there was really no way of finding answers to nagging questions/mysteries like this. So my ignorance of the song's lyrics went unchecked for many years.


At some point after Al graciously bestowed the internet upon us, I finally was able to look up the lyrics to "Those Were The Days":


     Boy, the way Glenn Miller played
     Songs that made the Hit Parade
     Guys like us, we had it made
     Those were the days


Now, you at least have to admit that my guess at the first line makes sense phonetically.

Here are some other lyric misinterpretations I've made in the past (I'm sure my loving family and friends will leave comments of others I've neglected to list):

- "Take a little bit off" vs. "Take a little rhythm" (from "Take a Little Rhythm" by Ali Thompson)

- "I'm not talking 'bout meridian" vs. "I'm not talking about movin' in" (from "I'd Really Love To See You Tonight" by England Dad and John Ford Coley)

- "There's a warm wind blowing the stars around" vs. "There's a warm wind blowing; the stars are out" (also from "I'd Really Love To See You Tonight")

- "Well, they sent you a tie clasp" vs. "Well, they said you was high class" (from "Hound Dog" by Elvis Presley)

- "There's a bathroom on the right" vs. "There's a bad moon on the rise" (from "Bad Moon Rising" by Creedence Clearwater Revival)

By the way, let me just quickly drop a short side note to all you youngins out there...the proper pronunciation of the abbreviations "v." and "vs." is NOT \ˈvərs\.  The abbreviations are for the word "versus" which is pronounced \ˈvər-səs, -səz\.  Go and sin no more!


There...are you happy now Todd?


Flint

Hello World!

As a computer programmer of untold years, my first post on this new blog has the obligatory title of "Hello World!" as that is the desired output of the first program which every computer nerd writes when learning a new language.

My name is Flint Calvin (yes, first name is "Flint" and last name is "Calvin" despite whether it sounds better the other way 'round). I'm just an average, middle-aged "Flint" residing in the Midwest. And by saying "Midwest", I really mean the center of the U.S. (both North/South and East/West). It has always bothered me that we are still using location terms from the 1800s. People still refer to Ohio as being in the Midwest despite it being in the eastern quarter of the U.S. In this day and age, we ought to be using much more meaningful location descriptions. For example, we could say that New Mexicans reside in the "South Midwest" or that North Dakotans are from the "North Mid". Well, okay...those terms do need some beautifying, but I'm sure Congress could come up with something we could all live with. On second thought, it's probably not a good idea to get our government involved. But, I digress...

The intent of this blog is to provide me with an outlet for recording everyday things which I find to be funny. I hope that it also provides others with a laugh from time-to-time. I've never done a blog before, but my daughter (Summer) has had great success at it. I'm hoping that she got some of those "blog" genes (specifically, string "GAACUCCCUUUGGCUGGGGGAGUUCCCCCUUGGGAAAAAACCUUU" for those of you interested in that sort of thing) from me so that I don't fall flat on my face with this blog.

So let's get this baby fired up and see where it takes us!

Today's post: The love of money may be the root of all evil, but the love of food is the fertilizer of fat.

My friend Paul and I are (shall we say) a little "height-challenged" even though we both are over 6'. That is to say, we are a little short for our weight (see today's photo above of me and Paul with our wives Renee and Shelly...I'm the one on the far left...the skinnier of the two guys). Since we have found no viable methods for getting any taller at our ages, we recently decided to go on a diet together. BTW, we need to both be dieting at the same time or the one that isn't dieting inevitably ends up coercing the one dieting to fall off the wagon.

Anyway, we both had some restaurants that we wanted to eat at before we hit the food austerity trail. We basically came up with a list of places to eat before we start the diet. It was all starting to sound like the movie of recent years which stars Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson as terminally ill patients who come up with a list of things they want to do before they die. Since our situation is a little different, we have adjusted the title of our agenda to be "The KFC Bucket List".

Have a good weekend,
Flint